tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post6693809227661595627..comments2023-05-21T04:01:18.620-04:00Comments on The Prodigal Daughter: Confronting My Abuser: A Week's JournalingUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-48197892591718018492007-05-12T09:39:00.000-04:002007-05-12T09:39:00.000-04:00What a wonderful feeling that you two are praying ...What a wonderful feeling that you two are praying for me and carrying me in your heart. <BR/><BR/>Would you also pray that God will bring others to this blog that have suffered similar pain? <BR/><BR/>Then you will have more people to pray for! :-) And every one of them will desperately need it. <BR/><BR/>I picture myself saying to Bob: My prayer is that you will have the courage to face the truth, that the Holy Spirit will not allow you to bury yourself once again in the denial and narcissism you have built around yourself, and that you will then be cut free from the mill stone around your neck. <BR/><BR/>With truth comes tremendous grace. Will you join me in praying this prayer for Bob as well?dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06635494695053729194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-14571988336349501902007-05-12T08:05:00.000-04:002007-05-12T08:05:00.000-04:00Di my friend, I wanted you to know that you are in...Di my friend,<BR/> I wanted you to know that you are in my heart!<BR/><BR/>MonaleaMonaleahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00801875893112932259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-11882001009460074872007-05-11T23:45:00.000-04:002007-05-11T23:45:00.000-04:00I am praying for peace in your heart. All pain is ...I am praying for peace in your heart. All pain is difficult and all healing a bit chaotic during the process. On my knees for you every single day.<BR/>Peace and prayers<BR/>Sleep well<BR/>NevaNevahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09965781186578775966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-31900168152521243392007-05-11T19:00:00.000-04:002007-05-11T19:00:00.000-04:00Thanks Neva and everyone else. I am more peaceful...Thanks Neva and everyone else. I am more peaceful today than I have been in a week. I am trying to figure out what I want to write about next. I haven't shared my healing journey in one story, though it is scattered here and there. So, that is an option. Got any requests? <BR/><BR/>In about a week, I will recontact Bob - we never really agreed on a specific time for me to call. I just said sometime after the 16th. <BR/><BR/>I had a good therapist appt. yesterday. I feel pretty supported there. Instead of skipping a week I am going back next week. That was John's idea. Which is a little humbling and scary, when your shrink pushes you to come on back in sooner than normal. <BR/><BR/>I think the best part of the therapy for me was getting John's opinion of Bob. He thinks I have probably analyzed him well. He said, it is possible that he may come through with something healthier, but usually when something quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it is a duck. In other words, he thinks at best Bob is a "dry drunk". He may not be sexually abusing in the present but he has not dealt with the internal issues that lead him down that road. <BR/><BR/>Dianedihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06635494695053729194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-72352076132455870472007-05-11T18:24:00.000-04:002007-05-11T18:24:00.000-04:00Just checking on you and letting you know I am sti...Just checking on you and letting you know I am still praying.<BR/><BR/>Peace and prayers<BR/>NevaNevahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09965781186578775966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-1572356697660043802007-05-09T22:38:00.000-04:002007-05-09T22:38:00.000-04:00I haven't commented but have kept up with your jou...I haven't commented but have kept up with your journal additions and have been praying for you daily. I know that losing Taffy was hard especially at this time when stroking her would be a great comfort...God is at work in you and this will be a blessing to someone who has gone through the same trauma His hand will continue to hold you up through this storm as the Holy Spirit leads you.Keep holding on the last day of school is close at hand...it will be better next year with new leadership. You are a wonderful, natural gifted teacher with a heart for your students.<BR/>Love and prayers,<BR/>PamelaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-65843808665677964962007-05-09T22:16:00.000-04:002007-05-09T22:16:00.000-04:00Monolea, thanks. It has been a teary-eyed day. It...Monolea, thanks. It has been a teary-eyed day. It helps to know I have friends I have never met and you my fellow journey woman understands what I cannot always explain. <BR/><BR/>Our therapists must have studied from the same books. I too have heard and become accustomed to the 2 forward, 1 back scenario but in the thick of things I often lose focus. Thanks for restoring it.dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06635494695053729194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-41263834123279491942007-05-09T14:09:00.000-04:002007-05-09T14:09:00.000-04:00Di, my counselor use to say, "2 steps forward, 1 s...Di, my counselor use to say, "2 steps forward, 1 step back." I hated it at first, because is was true. Then I came to expect it and would only focus on the 1 step I had taken forward and not the 1 step I had taken back. <BR/><BR/>Hang tough friend! I'm here!<BR/>MonaleaMonaleahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00801875893112932259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-40546029817044309292007-05-07T21:44:00.000-04:002007-05-07T21:44:00.000-04:00Dearest Di,Praying right now!nDearest Di,<BR/>Praying right now!<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>nNevahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09965781186578775966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-29871318489275263412007-05-07T21:04:00.000-04:002007-05-07T21:04:00.000-04:00NB, I hear your frustration. I see kids at school...NB, I hear your frustration. I see kids at school who are neglected in one way or the other. Parents who don't have time to parent is the most common abuse. Over controlling parents are also frequent. I have known of one father who raped his daughter. That was sick. <BR/><BR/>I wonder if the issue with children's services is the fact that if the kid is taken from the home, there is no where else to put them. And, at what point is removing them less traumatic than the level of abuse they face. Finding and knowing that line, must be hard. <BR/><BR/>So, I see one answer. We all go out and sign up for foster kids and raise them in a loving home - only it reaks havoc in the foster home much of the time. We were discouraged from adopting a kid when we considered it. They said wait and don't displace our oldest. Thus we never adopted. <BR/><BR/>When parents fail and families fail - there is no answer. It is a horrible mess!dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06635494695053729194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-42899173879988331962007-05-07T20:21:00.000-04:002007-05-07T20:21:00.000-04:00I too understand taking on the pain of children. I...I too understand taking on the pain of children. I tears you up and wears you down. <BR/><BR/>I feel so helpless at times because the agencies that have the authority to act, know about horrible devastasting things, yet they choose to sit back and do nothing. How many chances do unfit parents get? As many as they want in my state. Children have no rights other than the right to be used and taken advantage of until they no longer exist inside. It makes me so angry!!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-25429865149352494292007-05-07T10:00:00.000-04:002007-05-07T10:00:00.000-04:00Di, When I started down the road to healing I exp...Di,<BR/> When I started down the road to healing I experienced the same physical pains that I did as a child. I can't remember what my counselor called them. But they were there, they were real, but they had come from the past. It was the pain I felt as a child and didn't know what to do with them. A part of my brain held the memory pain, like a part of my brain held the memories of the abuse. <BR/><BR/>Sometimes when I'm around children I can see their pain in their eyes, and if I am not careful, I can feel their pain. I use to make their pain my pain. <BR/><BR/>Question: we have had several encounters with CPS, getting help for children. We have been very disappointed. CPS seems to be more about healing a family at the child's expense than helping the child. The last encounter the CPS worker said, "Until we have proof against the parents we cannot doing anything." I asked, "So you are telling me the parents have more rights than the child?" She didn't answer and I repeated the question. She finally answered, "Yes." Where and from whom do we get help from when we come across a child that needs help? This has been our experience in Texas and New Mexico.Monaleahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00801875893112932259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-59650264604342331032007-05-06T21:18:00.000-04:002007-05-06T21:18:00.000-04:00Trey, thank you. You support is very important to...Trey, thank you. You support is very important to me at this time. Your believing me is also important. Why do you believe me?dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06635494695053729194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-51595823309422240172007-05-06T21:16:00.000-04:002007-05-06T21:16:00.000-04:00Balaam's Ass, I agree with you that I would not re...Balaam's Ass, I agree with you that I would not recommend this step to anyone. No one recommended it to me but the Holy Spirit and I weighed it for quite some time before I placed that call. Considering doing this only came after 6 years of hard deep therapy and work. <BR/><BR/>I could only do this with my husband's complete support. As Tom said to me - you two have to be on the same page because you don't know what is going to surface once you do this or how you will handle it emotionally. <BR/><BR/>On top of his support, we are in therapy as a couple. I have personal therapy, a very supportive pastor, and friends who have walked with me in this journey for years. <BR/><BR/>As far as his retaliating in some way, intended or not, I think I have too much power to hurt him. Several pastors in the denomination are in the loop and supportive of me. I imagine his reputation still matters.dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06635494695053729194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-81933824446855365682007-05-06T20:49:00.000-04:002007-05-06T20:49:00.000-04:00Di,Prayed for you today. I too believe you. I kn...Di,<BR/><BR/>Prayed for you today. I too believe you. I know that's important. I'm sorry it's been a hard week. Hang in there.TREY MORGANhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09956688456753622296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-60722186115345776152007-05-06T20:43:00.000-04:002007-05-06T20:43:00.000-04:00Dearest Di,First I believe that your effort was an...Dearest Di,<BR/><BR/>First I believe that your effort was an act of extreme grace giving this man an opportunity to repent and turn to God for his own healing. He may still do that. Intractable sinners have. Nevertheless your account (as I understand it) is that you were not this man’s only target. In other words, he has acted like a serial sex offender. Unfortunately, his is likely a criminal mindset. I would caution others against doing what you did unless they have good support groups and protection from follow-up aggression and mind-gaming. I am praying for you and him. God bless you.Balaam's Asshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17364624123875151753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-47554088014423278502007-05-06T18:36:00.000-04:002007-05-06T18:36:00.000-04:00Neva, everything inside doesn't tell me not to. I...Neva, everything inside doesn't tell me not to. I have a driving need to have it out there - to tell my story. The present waiting takes more courage. The not knowing, not being in control. Now that is what I fear most. I imagine that is true of most abuse victims.dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06635494695053729194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-59590765052277813302007-05-06T12:45:00.000-04:002007-05-06T12:45:00.000-04:00Courage is putting out there all the things that n...Courage is putting out there all the things that need to be said when everything inside you tells you not to.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-28670829419267037222007-05-06T08:37:00.000-04:002007-05-06T08:37:00.000-04:00Di,Praying for you on the Lords Day.PeaceNevaDi,<BR/>Praying for you on the Lords Day.<BR/><BR/>Peace<BR/>NevaNevahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09965781186578775966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-89959978392163330172007-05-05T20:19:00.000-04:002007-05-05T20:19:00.000-04:00Brian, glad to have you visit. So many people kee...Brian, glad to have you visit. So many people keep telling me that I have courage. What is courage?dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06635494695053729194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-75309347240598892772007-05-05T19:37:00.000-04:002007-05-05T19:37:00.000-04:00I will be praying for you. just found your blog f...I will be praying for you. just found your blog from trey morgan's. I admire your courage.<BR/><BR/>God bless<BR/>brianAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-42546673080948627742007-05-05T00:45:00.000-04:002007-05-05T00:45:00.000-04:00Indeed you are a new creation, indeed you are.Peac...Indeed you are a new creation, indeed you are.<BR/><BR/>Peace and prayers my sister<BR/>NevaNevahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09965781186578775966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-39916323536173973562007-05-04T22:40:00.000-04:002007-05-04T22:40:00.000-04:00Monolea, it is good to have you back. You have be...Monolea, it is good to have you back. You have been in my prayers. I hope all is well. I missed you. <BR/><BR/>What you have described is one of the reasons I entered therapy in the beginning. I knew as a teacher I would be hearing and seeing much abuse of different kinds. My reaction was always of seathing anger. Occasionally it still is but I also see past a child or parents behavior to what motivates them underneath. <BR/><BR/>There is no way I could have gotten to the place I was on Wednesday night without the grace of God. <BR/><BR/>I want very much to meet with Bob. Yet, I have to trust God to work in his life. He may not be ready. Tom and I discussed that this may even take years. <BR/><BR/>I can't believe the love I feel in my heart for him. It is uncanny. I know he is denying his predation and largely denying that it was abuse - yet I feel compassion for him. Real compassion. Is a human being capable of this? <BR/><BR/>But then according to Balaam's Ass who writes to me from time to time - I am not only human or is it that I am fully human. I am a new creation. I am a woman infused with the Holy Spirit. <BR/><BR/>Blessing Monolea.dihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06635494695053729194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-68916045310964861282007-05-04T21:02:00.000-04:002007-05-04T21:02:00.000-04:00Di, When I read your post asking for prayers for ...Di,<BR/> When I read your post asking for prayers for Bob, my first reaction, 'just stone him.' <BR/><BR/>It took me years to pray for my abusers, funny when I hear of someone else being abused, I have to work all over again for forgiveness for that abuser.<BR/><BR/>MonaleaMonaleahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00801875893112932259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3993010531654805463.post-57945512680647981022007-05-04T20:51:00.000-04:002007-05-04T20:51:00.000-04:00Di, I'm sorry for your loss! You didn't loose a p...Di, I'm sorry for your loss! You didn't loose a pet you lost a part of your family.<BR/><BR/>I BELIEVE You!<BR/><BR/>MonaleaMonaleahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00801875893112932259noreply@blogger.com