Monday, July 21, 2008

Gosh, I Have Been Away a Long Time......

........ but the break was needed.

This summer has been a time of restoration and rest for me. I have played golf, put puzzles together, played Canasta with my mom, read, and taken a wonderful trip with my love to New England. We just returned on Saturday.

Since I last wrote, I had three disks in my neck fused and quite a few bone spurs removed. The surgery was a success and I can type now without my hands going to sleep or my back hurting.

I also terminated therapy for the time being. Dan and I both agreed that I was doing most of the work myself. More importantly, I felt for the first time in 8 years, the ability to stand on my own. Dan is there if I need him, a phone call or email away, but I have been fine these last two months. Writing this gives me the opportunity to celebrate that milestone.

I imagine therapy will be a part of my life again in the future when life offers me difficulties. It has been such a powerful place of healing that I see it in much the same way as the medical doctor or surgeon. If I need the care, I will seek it out.

The state church has remained in touch and they are continuing to work on the new misconduct policy. I recently heard from Reg that they are paying close attention to my suggestions. The head of the committee called me right after my surgery and with vacations and recovery I have not managed to get back in touch with him in person though messages have been left. His message to me was respectful and encouraging and I will try again soon to contact him by phone. I expect to sit down with the committee in the future.

In my spirit I have felt at peace and hopeful. I have not felt any need to press further.

Balancing my own need for a season of rest with the never ending need of those who have been hurt and the need to educate the church is impossible. For the first time in my healing, I am at peace walking away from my story and allowing other forces in my life to be absorbing.