Monday, August 20, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
- I want it to be forthright and not murky as his reply to me was. I am not a murky person. I prefer to speak the truth in love. I believe God honors that.
- I want to be honest in letting him know that I do not intend to remain silent in this. I do not want that to sound like a threat though.
- I want to open his eyes to the fact that those he is trying to protect from the embarrassment of this issue are going to be hurt more if I am shut out.
- I want to impress upon him that this is a passionate issue and the passion cannot be removed from it.
- I want to say that though his intent might be to share my points, since he seemed to not agree with them, he cannot do them the same justice I can.
- I want to challenge his statement on accepting the differences in mine and Bob's story. This is very dangerous and I want to point that out to him.
- I want to make it clear that I was never given the opportunity to give my opinion of the monitoring of Bob. I was TOLD that some would occur but not given any details and lead to believe I was not welcome to them. That is very different from saying I supported the direction it was going.
- I also want to make it clear that I requested to talk with the previous state minister about an advocate after having originally been unsure of that desire. And I asked to speak directly to the state ministerial committee. My email was never answered.
- He states there was some form of a response team but they never contacted me. I would like to know if there names are listed and if it was noted as to why I was not contacted by them.
I also intend to send the letter to the chair of the state ministerial commission.
I do not expect to be heard or to be allowed to speak. Yet, I have to try before I can take other roads to being heard. I forwarded Reg's email to David Clohessy yesterday and heard back from him today. He is the national leader of SNAP. I replied to his reply asking if he would help me if I decide to go public with this. He said he would be honored to help me. I hope it never comes to that. God, please open their eyes! This cannot be avoided. It has to be faced no matter how uncomfortable.
I am reminded of Trey Morgan's blog (http://www.treymorgan.net/2007/03/sexual-misconduct-among-church-leaders.html) and this quote:
"There are more questions that need to be answered. And this is a subject that we "as Christians and as a church" have ignored. "
I thank you Trey for not sticking your head in the sand! I wish you had the power to pull a few out for me right now. I wish all ministers were like you. Once again the church has hurt me. But men like Trey and Tom stand in righteousness and in the heart of Christ. I thank God for them.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
As I gave big smiles and hugs to them, I wondered at the power of my own position. I wondered how someone could even consider hurting one of them. Why would someone want control and power so much that they would destroy those smiles and joy at seeing you? I cannot comprehend it.
However I can comprehend crossing boundaries with a pastor. How scary it is at times when I see my own heart open to Tom. I thank God for my own healthy boundaries. It took many years to find the pieces and build them. I thank God for his boundaries. Yet, at the same time, I feel all the human emotions when I experience the acceptance and gentle care in his eyes, or we clasp hands in prayer, or I get a hug on the way out the door. Those are very intimate expressions and God's love is intimate.
I hope you don't judge me for admitting what I imagine most of us feel at times in similar situations. That is why it is abuse, because we do feel it. Pastors carry the power to give us hope, the power to manifest the love of God, the power to offer forgiveness and encouragement, the power of counsel, the power in a hand held and are around the shoulder, the power to call us to repentance, the power to pray for our healing, the power to bestow God's blessing.
I praise God for healthy boundaries. I pray for Tom's protection and I think I am going to add a new prayer. I think all pastors need this. I am going to pray special blessings on his relationship with his wife. The scripture says that a cord of three strands is not easily broken. That scripture was used in our wedding ceremony 27 years ago. May that third cord, God's Spirit, hold tight my pastor and his wife.
Pastors with integrity - God bless them.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Reg, knew his answers were not satisfactory.
Today I talked with my pastor, Tom who is convinced Reg will follow up. Tom says Reg will do his best to meet my needs and to give him time to deal with the emotional bomb that has gone off in his lap. Not that I am a bomb but what happened to me is. Tom described how the shock of it affected him, how wrapping one's mind around the reality of what all I told him was difficult.
When Tom said that if nothing happened over a few months time to cause changes to be made to the policy, he would make sure something happened, I cried. I believe him. I trust him. When I shared my concern that Reg did not believe my evaluation of the three conversations with Bob, Tom agreed to call him and tell him his rendition as a support of mine.
I trust a pastor. Radical.
I miss my brother who was a pastor in the state, in this denomination and once the head of the state ministerial committee. Why didn't tell him? Oh how I wished I had. Yesterday my sister-in -law assured me that he would have supported me and helped me find resolution. Oh how good it was to hear that. And today I told Tom that though I had lost my brother as an advocate, I had gained his support - and it means a lot.
I wrote an email to Reg. I reminded him of the scripture of the 99 sheep that were left to seek out the one lost. Will this church choose to seek victims out when it is known they probably exist? I do not think I will be able to quit until I see that in writing.