Victim to Survivor: Women Recovering from Clergy Sexual Abuse

The title of my post is the title of a new book I just received in the mail yesterday. The book is composed of 6 women's journeys through similar situations that I have experienced. I have only read the foreward by Marie Fortune and felt a need to share parts of it with you.

"The miracle of these stories (and the hundreds more like them) is that these women are the church, the broken body of Christ seeking to be made whole through the courage to demand justice. In their pain, these women call upon the church to be the church, and they really expect those of us in the institutional church to rise to the occasion. Tragically, all too often we have failed them. We have sent them away with a stone instead of the bread they deserved. Yet often, like the persistent widow in Luke's Gospel (18:2-7), they have gone back again and again to the unjust judge, demanding to be vindicated." (p. ix)

"Only occasionally (and I write this with a profound heaviness in my own heart) have such women found a just and compassionate response from their church. All too often they have been blamed, rejected, stigmatized, persecuted, and revictimized. Many have left the church in order to survive. But we must remember that they did not leave voluntarily; they were driven away by an institution that failed in its responsibility to protect its people from the unethical and exploitative practices of its leaders. Those who have left represent a huge loss for us all. Their skills, energy, and faith are no longer available to us for the ministry fo the church. A few have stayed, buoyed by a just and reasonable response. Many of these who have stayed now work from the inside to change the practices that they know are so harmful to congregants." (p. x)

"When these women brought complaints, they met with varying degrees of success. A wide range of responses are possible, from the tragic and outrageous to the good and solid. In my experience, the church is more likely to disappoint than to satisfy the needs of the survivor. But don't let this necessarily discourage you from trying. If and when you are ready, are feeling stong enough to sustain an effort, and have some system of support around you, you may choose to bring a complaint as part of your own healing process. Lower your expectations below what you deserve, and you may be surprised by getting more than you expected. " (p. xiii)

"For those of us who remain in the church and are committed to making it as safe a place as possible for those who turn to it, we must recognize that the stories we read here (along with many others) are a gift to us. They are the gift of the truth about who we are as church and what we need to do to be faithful to our call to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable. These women speak truth to power in the hope that they will be heard and that things will be changed. It is a painful truth. As a colleague of mine says (in paraphrasing John 8:32), 'You will know the truth, and the truth will make you flinch before it sets you free.'" (p. xvi)

I think there is little I can add except to say it is good to not be alone.

Di