The State Minister Avoids Truth

Is it possible to accept both my statement and Bob's as truth?

No. One of us is not being truthful. Either I am lying. Bob is lying. I have deceived myself and believe I am telling the truth but am not. Or Bob has deceived himself and believes he is telling the truth but is not. (And yes, I know those are not complete sentences but it reads easier that way, fellow educators and writers.)

I have no reason to lie if Bob's truth is the truth. So be it. It was still abuse. He was still my youth pastor. There is no more shame in it for me that way. If it was true I would simply say it was true. He however has much to lose. It is the difference between his being a pedophile and predator or making a one time mistake. Big difference. Big difference in how many victims still exist out there hurting like me.

Reg, emailed me his reply today. He chooses to believe both of us, which essentially says he believes some weird kind of lie. Let me quote him:

"I believe honestly that your story is true. I also believe Bob’s recounting is true as well. Even though the statements may indeed differ, I believe both can be true statements of what each person believes. That difference, though it is uncomfortable, cannot be eliminated. It must simply be accepted."

No it cannot be accepted! This goes against my whole push for testing of perpetrators. It needs to make us uncomfortable enough to do something to stop the Bob's ever abusing again. We cannot simply say, oh my this makes me uncomfortable but I must accept it!!! That is not what God says. He says His word discerns the truth and rightly divides the truth from lies. Let him divide it. I stand before him willing to have that truth divided. Why, because I speak the truth. Anything I have been gray on I have avoided sharing.

As one of my books said earlier this week: "You will see the truth and after it has caused you to flinch a few times it will set you free." I can handle Bob's inability to see the truth - he is a sick sociopath and as such isn't supposed to be able to see the truth. Reg however is not supposed to be sociopathic but he sure has his head in the sand.

I am in shock. Reg says HE will share with the state ministers my desires. This is in direct opposition to what I requested. I choose to share it myself. It will cost me to do what I may need to do but it will cost me more to remain silent.

I called Tom, who read the email reply and called me back this evening to talk more. His statement was to remain calm and know this is not the end of it. I hope the rest of the ministerial commission is more like Tom than Reg. Our plan is to pray for a few days and contemplate on our reply to Reg. We (Tom is using the "We".) need to work at getting from point A (me not sharing in person) to point B (me sharing in person). I explained to Tom why Reg could not do this for me. He didn't even support my suggestions. He did not want the mandatory testing. There is no way he can present that in a convincing way. I can though.

Tom is very aware that I will not stop if not allowed to speak at the state ministers leadership committee. I have told him that I can easily send a letter to every church in this state and the two other states that Bob pastored in. I can explain my mission and tell my story. I can make phone calls. I can even talk to the national group working on this same issue.

This is very hard my friends. I thank God for my husband who has come to me and hugged and held me many times tonight and my pastor who unconditionally believes every word I have spoken.

Di