The Pain of Sexual Abuse Continues

It doesn't stop. It still inflicts its pain. I guess it will until heads are out of the sand and shame is destroyed along with the lies people choose to believe.

Tonight as I told my mom that I was sharing the children's sermon in two weeks, she challenged, "Why don't you both join the church?" I am not even sure how I answered her. I remember telling her that it might not ever happen. Talk about timing?! It wasn't her intent to hurt me and to answer her honestly would have hurt her. I do not want to hurt her.

So, on other hard questions. What do I want my reply to Reg to say?

1. I want it to be forthright and not murky as his reply to me was. I am not a murky person. I prefer to speak the truth in love. I believe God honors that.



2. I want to be honest in letting him know that I do not intend to remain silent in this. I do not want that to sound like a threat though.



3. I want to open his eyes to the fact that those he is trying to protect from the embarrassment of this issue are going to be hurt more if I am shut out.



4. I want to impress upon him that this is a passionate issue and the passion cannot be removed from it.



5. I want to say that though his intent might be to share my points, since he seemed to not agree with them, he cannot do them the same justice I can.



6. I want to challenge his statement on accepting the differences in mine and Bob's story. This is very dangerous and I want to point that out to him.



7. I want to make it clear that I was never given the opportunity to give my opinion of the monitoring of Bob. I was TOLD that some would occur but not given any details and lead to believe I was not welcome to them. That is very different from saying I supported the direction it was going.



8. I also want to make it clear that I requested to talk with the previous state minister about an advocate after having originally been unsure of that desire. And I asked to speak directly to the state ministerial committee. My email was never answered.



9. He states there was some form of a response team but they never contacted me. I would like to know if there names are listed and if it was noted as to why I was not contacted by them.

I also intend to send the letter to the chair of the state ministerial commission.

I do not expect to be heard or to be allowed to speak. Yet, I have to try before I can take other roads to being heard. I forwarded Reg's email to David Clohessy yesterday and heard back from him today. He is the national leader of SNAP. I replied to his reply asking if he would help me if I decide to go public with this. He said he would be honored to help me. I hope it never comes to that. God, please open their eyes! This cannot be avoided. It has to be faced no matter how uncomfortable.

I am reminded of Trey Morgan's blog (http://www.treymorgan.net/2007/03/sexual-misconduct-among-church-leaders.html) and this quote:

"There are more questions that need to be answered. And this is a subject that we "as Christians and as a church" have ignored. "

I thank you Trey for not sticking your head in the sand! I wish you had the power to pull a few out for me right now. I wish all ministers were like you. Once again the church has hurt me. But men like Trey and Tom stand in righteousness and in the heart of Christ. I thank God for them.

Di

Di