The Power of a Golf Ball

Amazing thing, recreation is. I have taken up golf again and found it to be just what I need to get my mind and focus off of the stresses and anxieties of pastoral abuse and work as well. Nothing is quite like hitting that golf ball to release the tension and to give me a sense of accomplishment - when it goes somewhere near to where I intend. Oh heck, even when it lands in the creek, I enjoy it.

Teaching is hard. People think that teachers get this lovely 2 months or more off every summer. Well, in reality, teachers work those hours during the other 10 months. I still haven't gotten everything caught up from the start of school. Getting there but not there yet. Stress builds.

I have been reasonably at peace waiting these two weeks for Reg's reply to my letter. I talked to Tom this morning and he is expecting a positive reply and thinks, but is not sure, I will receive more than I am expecting. He has obviously been on the phone with Reg, but I did not ask too many details. Of course that makes my mind leap off in all sort of directions. My hope is to be asked to participate in a task force to strengthen the pastoral misconduct policy. Even better, I hope to hear that Tom himself is going to chair it. Now that would be a slice of heaven.

I went out to the driving range this afternoon and hit 75 golf balls and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening grading 600 papers to keep my mind off of it. Obviously the 75 golf balls did me the most good.

My talk with Tom this morning was just a casual one. I had requested it after I mailed the letter and this is the first time we could arrange our schedules. I have been ok so I didn't have much to talk about, but I didn't want to throw away the opportunity to just relate. Each time I talk with Tom, I come away with more healing. Piece by piece and bit by bit I find it. I also find an inner strength inside that I did not have when I began this blog. I am growing through this adventure and learning how to stand up for what is right. My view of myself is more secure and confident. My trust of my abilities grows.

In all of this I honor God's work. How appropriate and miraculous that the healing I am now receiving is coming through the heart of another pastor in the same denomination. It isn't just Tom though, it is the church. The church as a whole knows nothing of my past journey and I plan to keep it that way. They however have given me much of what I need, unconditional love and acceptance and a place to grow.

I will let all of you know when I hear from Reg. In the meantime I ask for your prayers. A less than positive response will not be easy to receive.