SNAP Support Group Meeting

Last night was a first for me. I sat in a circle with others who had also been abused at the hands of a minister. I shook hands with others who have shared similar paths. I heard stories that included the pain of pastoral sexual misconduct.

SNAP stands for Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests and was established as a result of the Catholic Church's explosion of abuse accusations 5 years ago. It is amazing how much that blew open people's knowledge and I am grateful for those willing to stand up and fight to get this horror into the public's conscious.

SNAP is open to those abused in other denominations and faiths and over half of us represented other churches.

I was impressed with some great ground rules for the meetings. Here are a few:

• Everything said in the group is confidential. What happens here, stays here.


• We share feelings and experiences, which just are or were. There are no right and wrong statements. Please don't judge the statements and don't judge the persons who share them.


• When speaking use "I" statements rather an "you" or "they." Please focus on your feelings, not opinions.


• Avoid individual problem solving. Individuals can learn from others' experiences and solve their own problems.


• Giving and asking for advice is not allowed. It is empowering and healing for us to gather ideas that will benefit us. None of us are experts and none of us know what is best for another.


• The session is divided into two parts. During the first part, everyone is invited to share their experiences or feelings individually. No on speaks more than once during this part. There is no discussion during this time. The second part is an open discussion when everyone may talk about what they learned from the previous sharing.

Two things stood out to me last night. One: Diversity was great. We were all very different and probably would not have congregated together if put in a room full of people. But when the sharing started -we were all knit together in our respect and care for one another. Two: All of us there last night have chosen at least one way to try and change the world for the better in relation to sexual abuse and everyone's way was different and creative.

For me, it was a good experience and a very needed one. For me it was a 2 hour drive up and a 3 hour return trip due to work on the highway and the bottleneck behind it. That is a lot of driving. Will I do it again? I don't know. It cost me about $35 for gas and supper but the greatest cost was the exhausting return trip...and I dozed for much of it. My husband had accompanied me and drove home.

Yet, the people there last night have already snared a special place in my heart.