Statute of Limitations on Sexual Abuse

In my state, the statute of limitations for sexual abuse falls under the same category as any other personal harm. To file a civil suit you have 2 years after the abuse. For minors the two years do not begin until they turn 18 and there are some clauses that allow later filings if one can prove that the damage done was not realized until a much later date. Perhaps that is not a difficult thing to show if one is referring to physical damage but emotional damage is so much more difficult to measure. You can't x-ray it or scan it or weigh it.

As I was scraping, sanding, and priming the exterior walls of my house this morning my mind revisited yesterday's conversation in the lawyer's office. My mind pondered the emotional toll of reporting abuse and the greater toll of reporting it publicly. Six years ago I did my reporting privately. It required everything I had inside to make it through that process.

Why did it take me over 25 years to report my perpetrator? I can't deny that I knew it needed to be done. I felt guilt for a number of years for not reporting him. The answer to my self directed question is this: I did not have the emotional strength or health needed to report Bob.

Deep inside of me were the lessons of my mom: don't rock the boat, don't draw attention to oneself, and surely it is better dealt with swept under the carpet. My brother was a pastor in the same denomination and I knew it would be a stink if the truth escaped. The shame I carried was massive, so massive in fact that I was convinced something was deeply wrong with me inside. For years after gaining an understanding of the dynamics of power/abuse relations, I still did not grasp the implications of that reality. In my heart I remained at fault for many, many years.

Could I go public now? Yes. Could I have gone public a year ago? Not without costing my soul more pain than I think I could have managed. Healing has been a long and arduous task. It has come in the end like a ball gaining momentum rolling down the hill. What was fought so hard for 5 years ago, suddenly appears in the most amazing ways now.

This then brings us back to the justice in a statute of limitations for sexual abuse. Is there justice in one? There is no statute of limitations for murder. What about the murder of a soul? Is it fair to allow a sexual abuser to go free just because he did such a good job at the emotional end of the abuse that the victim is incapable of reporting it until the allowed time has expired? In a sense the better the abuser, the more predatorial, the more manipulative, the better their chance of never having to face justice - on this earth.