Saturday, August 7, 2010

Victory


Each little victory over shame deserves a trumpet blare.

A few months ago, a very old friend who became entangled in my abuse story contacted me through facebook. My heart raced.

For years I had traveled back to my home town, always fearing who I would meet. The shame I carried was so encompassing that I was nauseas at the thought of running into those who knew my "secret". But this time, contact came easier. I reached out to a few others who I found on her friend list. Some seemed glad to hear from me, others not. One had forgotten I existed.

These reconnections have given me the opportunity to find my identity in the present and not in the past. And, I have done it!

I have fought so hard for this freedom. I never really believed I could get here.

3 comments:

Percheron Gray said...

So glad you got to blare your trumpet. Thank you for your wonderful and touching blog.

di said...

Thank you for your comment.

di said...

Hi Jenny. I am glad you are reading and commenting. I would love a lot more comments than I get. Personally, it wasn't until I dealt with and was free from the shame that I could really face my guilt. I looked to men for what I should have looked to God. The animal hides - I think they show God's grace from the very beginning. Shame is never His desire. Repentance is and I THINK shame gets in the way of repentance. Shame tries to always blame someone. Shame prevented me from healthy boundaries.