Driven to Talk

The baby tern on the right in this picture would not shut up. If either parent moved a inch to the left, he moved and continued to squawk.

I thought I would be through talking after conversing with Bob but like the tern, matters press me on. I certainly enjoy talking and writing. Communication is my profession and now I wish to take my profession of teaching to a new audience. The best teaching often comes from raising questions and pointing out problems that need to be solved.

I have written an email to two of the church's regional ministers in my state. I have asked for an opportunity to sit and talk with them. One of those ministers is Michael, Bob's son-in-law, the other is Michael's boss. My agenda with Michael is more personal, as I want to continue our conversation without Bob's presence. I have a few more memories I think he should be aware of that seemed pointless to share with Bob when he was not going to acknowledge them. I would also like him to know about the conversation I first had with Bob. I think it might be hard but good for him to hear John's take on Bob's psychological condition, as well. And, because Michael was so caring, I want to let him know first of my plans and desire to share with the ministerial leadership committee in the state.

With both Michael and Ray, I hope to share multiple thoughts, questions and suggestions as to procedures the church follows when a report of pastoral sexual misconduct occurs. I will list my thoughts below:

1. Psychological evaluations are needed and should be required in all reported cases. A third party that is completely objective is needed.


2. An increase in the number of people with access to files that remain open - meaning the incident was not settled, there is disagreement or lack of enough evidence to defrock the minister but enough evidence to cause concern as to his past behavior and present condition. Presently only one person has access to the those files.


3. A different set of thoughts and procedures for predatory behavior or child molestation is needed. These procedures might include:

• mandatory reporting of criminal activity that is in policy and well known by all ministers in the denominational region.


• contact of whole congregations when a predator has pastored in that congregation regardless of the passage of time.


• mandatory therapy for the length of ministry if a file is left open but the pastor remains in ministry.


• an understanding that victims may take many many years to come forward and this should not decrease the validity of the report in the eyes of the ministerial committee reviewing the report or affect the outcome.


• open disclosure to the victim of the perpetrators statement and of any consequences that the ministerial committee enacts.


• contact of victim if and when the ministers relocates.

I am interested in some feedback, especially if you are a minister. I want to go into the meeting with an understanding of all parties and the needs of the church, victim, and perpetrator in consideration. What do you see that sounds important and what might seem impossible?

And friends, if you don't mind, could you leave your thoughts here on the blog instead of emailing.