The Sexual Misconduct Policy

Well, I stopped crying by bedtime and have been fine since. I have been doing well and preparing for my time with Reg. My pastor, Tom, has returned from the realm of the yearly youth mission trip - God bless his soul. His response to an email caused me to pull out the Clergy Sexual Misconduct Policy I had received at the time I reported Bob. As I reread it, some red flags went up.

The regional minister is supposed to fill the role of Misconduct Policy Coordinator. A response team is supposed to already exist and be divided into two further teams: an investigation team and an intervention team. At the time of my reporting Bob, I agreed to allow the regional minister and his wife to fill all the roles. Egads! Red flags are soaring! I think I made a mistake but I think the regional minister made a bigger one. Someone under the duress I was experiencing should have never been asked something like that on the spot.

With this problem comes another. The intervention team is supposed to meet separately with the victim in order to offer guidance and to direct them to sources of support and assistance. The most I received was a question as to my getting counseling which I was at the time. The investigation team's job was to help minimize suffering, bring the truth to light all in order for healing, justice, and reconciliation (I don't think so.). I think I was gipped.

Once the state ministerial board meets they are to convene a disciplinary hearing according to the policy and procedures followed by the regional denomination. I emailed Reg today and asked for the disciplinary policy and procedures. He was honest and earned my respect when he told me it doesn't exist. So there wasn't one. And thus I was not asked to "testify", something I wanted to do.

If there is insufficient evidence to bring about disciplinary action, which I assume was the decision on my case, the Intervention team is to meet individually with all parties and "develop a mutually acceptable plan for monitoring the situation." Instead, I was told that they could not tell me the specifics of any monitoring that would occur.

Because the policy was not followed as written, I spent 6 years without closure and missed the opportunity to "testify". I chose to confront Bob to discover some of the answers. Some I still do not know.

I wrote Reg another email this afternoon, pointing out the holes in how I was handled. I feel a great deal of determination to see some changes made. I also feel angry that I did not experience the full extent of the policy.

I am hopeful that Reg will hear me and work with me to make sure this never happens again. For me that could be a very fruitful closure.